Using picture books is one of the better avenues to have students practice identifying the six traits of writing. This lesson presents one author, one of the writing traits and poetry to help students revise their written work.

Standards and Frameworks

Technology Standards

• 1T-E2. Demonstrate increasingly sophisticated operation of technology components
• PO 3. Demonstrate functional operation of technology devices

• 4T-E2. Use technology tools for individual and collaborative writing, communication and publishing activities to create curricular related products for audiences inside and outside the classroom
• PO 1. Plan, design and present an academic product using technology tools (e.g., multimedia authoring, presentation software, digital cameras, scanners, and projection
 

• Strand 1: Reading Process
• Concept 4: Vocabulary-Acquire and use new vocabulary in relevant contexts
•  Strand 1: Writing Process
• Concept 1: Prewriting -Prewriting includes using strategies to generate, plan, and organize ideas for specific purposes.
• PO 4.  Use organizational strategies (e.g., graphic organizer, KWL chart, log) to plan writing.
• Concept 4: Editing-Proofread and correct the draft for conventions
• PO 2.  Use resources (e.g., dictionary, word lists, spelling/grammar checkers) to correct    conventions.
• Strand 2: Writing Elements
• Concept 4: Word Choice-Word choice reflects the writer’s use of specific words and phrases to convey the intended message and employs a variety of words that are functional and appropriate to the audience and purpose
• PO 2.  Use descriptive words and phrases that energize the writing.

Academic

• Using the picture book Night Noise by Mem Fox, as a model for descriptive writing, students will practice revising a poem they’ve already written by adding two to five more descriptive words to at least four nouns or verbs in the poem.

Students will practice making revisions to their poems using Kidspiration, projected on to an interactive whiteboard like Smartboard, to create a word web for the nouns or verbs they want to generate other synonyms, adjectives or adverbs. Students will write two to five other modifiers for the four or more words they want to make “pop” in their poems.

Teacher will need to know how to use Kidspiration or Inspiration graphic organizer program.

Teacher will need to know to use a projector attached to their classroom computer.

Teacher will need to know how to use an interactive whiteboard like Smartboard.

Teacher will need to know how to save annotations to a Notebook file made on the Smartboard so they may be used in the lesson.

Teacher will need to know basic understanding of Microsoft Windows operating system.

Students will need to know how use Kidspiration program to make a word web.

Students will need to know how to write on an interactive whiteboard, like Smartboard, so they will be able to share their Kidspiration word web with the class.

Materials

Night Noise by Mem Fox, or any picture book that uses fun descriptive words in the story, Kidspiration program, and projector connected to classroom computer, original poem written by the students, thesaurus for elementary age children, paper or composition book, a Notebook file, saved on the Smartboard, with written portions of the Mem Fox story and student poem and an interactive whiteboard like Smartboard.

Accommodations for Special Needs

• Special education students may work in pairs with another student or work with the teacher in a small group to write their poems, use a thesaurus and to use the Kidspiration program.  At any point in this lesson if the student’s disability is language, the teacher should provide as much help as needed so that the student is successful with using descriptive words in the poem.
• Second Language learners may have a poem, chosen by the teacher, to work with to add the adjectives or adverbs. The teacher may also choose, in the poem, the two to five nouns or verbs the students should add descriptive words. These students may draw their poem and describe it while the teacher or an aide writes down what they have said.
• Gifted students may add more than five descriptive words to the nouns or verbs. They may also use the thesaurus, online or in a book, to write larger, not often used adjectives or adverbs to modify the nouns and verbs when they use Kidspiration. They may illustrate their word web as well as write it. They may want to rewrite a poem by another student or author by adding descriptive words of their own.

Day 1
(Students should be in groups of four with a partner assigned to each student)

1. Teacher displays a rewritten portion of Night Noise, from the Notebook file displayed on the Smartboard, using ordinary, boring nouns or verbs and reads the passage out loud.
2. Teacher asks students to help revise the passage by suggesting words to describe the noun or verbs. The nouns or verbs are underlined so the students focus only on describing those words.
3. Teacher records their suggestions below the sentence.
4. Teacher reads the list aloud and has the class choose the most interesting three to five words listed.
5. Teacher then displays a new screen on the Smartboard that has a pre-typed passage from the book and reads it exactly as it was written in the poem.
6. In pairs or as a group the students discuss and compare the original words with the words the students suggested. With Smartboard’s Notebook software, the teacher can toggle back and forth to view the two different screens.
7. Teacher asks and the class discusses which piece of written work was more colorful.
8. Students are shown a sentence from an original poem written by an unknown student in the class, on the Smartboad. Again, this poem has been pre-typed on another screen in the Notebook file.  In the sentence, a noun or verb is chosen and underlined by the teacher.
9. In pairs or small groups, the students will revise the sentence choosing one or two descriptive words to add to the noun or verb that is underlined. Adding the descriptive words will help to make the sentence “come alive”. Students will write this in a composition/journal notebook or paper.
10. Students will share their sentences with students at their group. Then the group will choose one sentence to share with the rest of the class.
11. Teacher will have each group share their chosen sentence with the rest of the class.

1. Working with a partner or alone, students will use Kidspiration to brainstorm and create a word web using two to five words to describe a noun or verb from their poems.
2. The students will then add to the word web three other nouns or verbs and descriptive words from their poem. Students may use a thesaurus or online thesaurus to help generate other descriptive words for their poem.
3. Students will print, for the teacher, a copy of the word web page with their descriptive words and nouns.

1. Teacher returns to the students the word webs from the day before.
2. Students, working alone or with their partner, will choose one of their nouns or verbs word webs to present to the class on the Smartboard.
3. Presenting in front of the class, the students will recreate the Kidspiration word web they made in class on the previous day.
4. The word webs can be saved on the Notebook software program or printed from the screen for the students use.
5. The students will rewrite their poems using the word webs from the previous day.
6. Students will hand in their newly revised poem.

Assessment

Students will be assessed in the following manner:

Approaching the objective:

1. Passage is not completely rewritten.
2. Student needed a lot of help from teacher to finish writing some of the passage
3. The original passage is rewritten with only one new descriptive word.
4. The meaning may change with the addition of the new word.
5. Revised passage is not interesting.

Meeting the objective:

1. Passage is almost completely rewritten.
2. Student needed little help from teacher to finish writing some of the passage.
3. The original passage is rewritten with two or three new descriptive words.
4. The meaning of the passage is not compromised.
5. Revised passage is interesting and holds reader’s attention.

Exceeding the objective:

1. Passage is completely rewritten.
2. Student needed no help from the teacher to finish writing the entire passage.
3. The original passage is rewritten with four or more powerful, lively words.
4. The meaning of the passage is enhanced with the many descriptive words.
5. Revised passage is enjoyable to read and the reader has a clear picture of the action in the passage.
6. The passage begs to be reread over and over again.

Teacher Name:  Diana Sewell
Email:  dsewell@amphi.com
Site:  Coronado K-8
Time Required:  Three-45 minute periods
Date Submitted:  March 8, 2005